Weight Loss Surgery?

Today is a new day. Yesterday was rough for me. I was feeling pretty down and ready to just give up on this whole weight loss journey and accept the reality that I'm a "fit fat girl" and that's probably all I'll ever be unless I get gastric bypass. The thought of having weight loss surgery has crossed my mind several times but friends would always talk me out of it. They say things to me like "that's the lazy way out", or "you don't need that", or "just work harder".

And that's easy for them to say because when they look in the mirror and see themselves they don't see what I see when I look at myself. Now I realize that I've come a long way and I could be heavier but it really sucks to put your best foot forward and still come up short every time. To be honest, the only reason I haven't gotten the surgery is because I was holding out hope that I would have another baby. I'll be 30 in November (Lord willing) and would sorta like to wrap up the baby making business by then. I have a 13 year old daughter and a 6 year old son so I don't think I need to space these kids out any further than I'm already doing. Otherwise, I'll be one of those grandparents with babies that are younger than their grandchildren. I know I shouldn't judge but I find it kinda tacky.

Thoughts of having weight loss surgery have resurfaced now that the baby ideas are pretty much out of the window. I've been doing a lot of research on the procedure and the idea of having to take pills everyday afterward is my new biggest deterrent. UGH! Where is the "magic pill" that makes healthy food taste like your favorite bad foods? I'm so waiting for one that can make cauliflower taste like cake. Yes, I'm 29 years old and can't swallow a pill to save my life (or my figure).

I  know several people who have had the surgery and gained all of their weight back. I'm not quite sure how or why you would go through all that to return to your old weight and heavier. But hey, who am I to judge? Then there is the issue of hanging skin or expensive, elective surgery to have it removed. But then there are those that had the surgery, kept the weight off, came off medications and are happy they decided to go through with the process. I would hope that if I did talk myself and husband into me having the surgery that I would be in the latter group and use surgery as a tool and not a crutch.

I haven't given up my "old fashioned" weight loss efforts. I'm just bouncing the surgery idea around a bit. I've been putting off finishing up week 5 of my C25K running program. I'm a little intimidated at the thought of running 20min without stopping. I'm not sure why because I used to do it everyday when I had a treadmill at home. I've been having bad pains throughout my body. I was going to hold off on working out until after my appointment tomorrow but I figured one little workout won't do too much more damage if any. I'm just looking forward to finishing week 5 up so I can go back to my running/walking intervals.

There's been a lot going on lately so I probably need the 20min run to clear my mind. I know I've been in a bit of a funk lately. This too shall pass. I decided that this is my blog. It's not doing me any good to be pretentious. Do I like this journey? Yes, but it gets hard sometimes. If I can post the good, I can post the bad as well. Hopefully, one day (soon) I'll look back on these bad days and laugh.